hmm. i jus learnt about stuff about myself. and sad to say, they're not nice stuff..
i dun forgive easily. it's reali TAT difficult for me to forgive. despite al the nice crap about forgive and forget, i catch myself thinking about revenge and that lingering feeling of anger/frustration. it's nicer to dwell in the dark side and not forgive. forget al the flowers, sunshine and tears of joy. i jus don't lik to forgive. BLEAH. i shld LEARN to forgive, and start seeing the nicer side of such things.
but reali, i thot i usually let small things get by me. so, when i reali need it most, and someone lets me down, it's tat difficult to forgive. =( haix..
but something that reali bothers me? it's my indecisvness. omg. thank goodness i didn't get A for gp (else' i'l be lik everyone else vying to be a doctor). i think i'l kill my patient jus trying to decide wat to do la. nowadays, i get so sian and broody/moody/doody thinking about wat to do. lik, to quit or not (such tat after two mths, i'm stil there. ha. some quitting spirit). lik the holiday. lik my future course and uni. gosh. and thing is, i dun do research. i prefer to dwell within my fantasy land, imaging and imagining for the worst. talk about a lazy snake. T.T
i need funny stuf.. i need a comedy! a romantic comedy! a movie! ^^ i LOVE movies (unless they're horror or final destination that kind of crap). hopefully "wat happens in vegas' tmr wil cheer me up. i'm in need of a cheerin up.
CHEER ME UP PLSSSS. =(.
mayb i shld start thinking random HAPPY thots. it's soo easy to get depressed nowadays. with the job and al.
and oh, ppl's skills is REALi hard. =( making small talk is no mean feat, for me anw. went st james power hse for this spring party. kpmg event. hmm. WIL NT WHINE ABOUT IT.
anw. pharm, sci fac (assuming i can appeal) or acc? i used to think pharmacy was a grand thing, ya noe, with the insider, first hand knowledge of medicine. i can get to noe wat's actually good/bad for me. the side effects, the cheaper drugs. such knowledge is worth having!
den i think about the gigantic molqs, the chem i wil hav to face again (jc chem was REALI horrible) and the little number of guys (ok this is a REALi pathetic reason) and working in guardian! and competing against the doctors wanabes. =X sheesh.
signing off
amethyst
11:04 PM
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
late now. sianz.
al these decisions are making my head hurt; or mayb it's jus the super high heels i wore to work today. srsly i swear i'm no good at wearing heels. =X
but no matter. my fren finally left kpmg. good for them. hahas. not too chicken to leave.
anw. two major decisions coming up. course to take and holiday to make. ARGH. shld i take pharmacy anot? or accountancy? ppl keep teling me to take wat i'm interested in, but i'm not interested in either. if i can hav my way (in the world without exams), i would take econs and psychology. sighs.
so hot. think the heat has sth to do with this headache too. or mayb it' sjus that i've been staring at computer screens for too long. sianz. good night. =X to hell with decisions. damn it.
signing off
amethyst
11:07 PM
say something'
plain.amethyst.palace
plainpalace.sally.yip
aquarian snake
Singapore
Alexandra Hill Pri, Nan Hua Sec, Victoria Junior College, NUS P h a r m12'
Lady`Mage =)
plainpalace@hotmail/gmail.com
let it go'
if you cant hold on, let it go and come back in your heart