i nv thot lacking confidence would be a problem, but apparently for driving, it is a HUGE one. i'm stil stuck at level one despite duno how many sessions of repeated lessons. i srsly dun mind practicing but it's depressing how fast the money gets used up. haix. X(
mayb i could pretend to be confident lik in np when taking promo test (but stil pretending doesnt get u anywhere- i can stil rmb how my voice quavered when i shouted the first command for every promo test). but i jus lose it whenever sth unexpected comes up. and it simply doesnt help tat everyone i did sth right, i get assured. den the next thing i noe, i'm jamming down hard on my brakes to screech to a stop before i kill someone (or mayb it was the instructor stomping on the brakes cause my reflexes were too slow)
HAIX man. HOWWW. SCHOOL"S STARTING AND I"M NOWHERE NEARING DRIVING LIK AN ORDINARY PERSON. how to gain confidence!!!! =(
ftt tmr. better not fail it. WORRIED> i shld sleep now. so i won't fall asleep during the test tmr. =X or during driving. YES driving again. so sianz. i'm rambling/complaining/brooding again. it's a bad habit. but old habits die hard.
anw. FINISHED GREY"S ANATOMY! other ppl might be crazy on korean or japanese drama or anime, but i found my weakness- english tv series! watching nip/tuck now. it's abit explicit... but i'm hoping some thot provoking epi might show up soon. the one i watched on channel 5 last week was quite nice (and i duno wat season is tat. =X) nice nice nice. i'm gonna miss squinting at the com screen when school reopens.. =( i lik to watch! when i'm old and retired, i'm going to somehow find the DVDs and watch. supernatural, charmed, prison break, house.. u name it. i HOPE I CAN FIND IT!! hahahs. already planning for retirement even thou it's lik barely the start of my young exciting life. -.-
hmm. i did made alot of grammatical errors even when writing an entry. shame on me. i so deserve a D. BUT NOT ENG MODULES! T.T
signing off
amethyst
11:11 PM
Friday, July 18, 2008
it's quite long since the last entry.. hahas almost one mth.
i can't believe time flew by sooo fast! apparently time can fly even if one is not working. sighs. i stil haven hav enough of slacking leh. how?
jus finished %^&*( QET today. sianz,. i'm so glad i got it over and done with. but this time, i know i wont do very well. i jus dun wana go for extra eng modules!!! %&*( i won't be hoping for excellent results but unfortunately i'l be hoping i won't get extra courses. and i won't reali be surprised if i have to go.
anw. had a bad driving session yesterday. ok the instructor didn't scold me. but i could practically see him roll his eyes and thinking how come this stubborn girl dun listen to wat he say. it's not tat i dun wana listen, it's jus tat sometimes i get so overwhelmed trying to do the correct things and i dun reali catch wat he says. %^&* so demoralised and disheartened tat i feel lik quitting. but no, i already spent so much money. once upon a time when it wasn't my money, i was young and foolish and jus quitted everything lik ballet and piano halfway, but i noe better now. i knew i'l lose even more confidence somewhere along learning and tat's y when i thot i could count on having a fren to snap me out of this.. but apparently not. THANK GOODNESS i had a better instructor today. he was lik a thousand million times nicer, even thou he appeared rather fierce at the start.. sighs. =( but the chance of seeing him the nxt time is 1/8. hahas. BUT I WAN IT TO BE HIM LEHH. sighs.
alright. i'm REALI worried about uni. recently there was this article in life about whether it is impt how everyone thinks of u. and.. i totally agree it's al about the chemistry. wat if uni if going to be lik last last time where i dun hav chemistry with lik everyone? haix. =( chemistry chemistry..
o yeah. forget to sorta add about the thailand trip. hahas. it wasnt' too bad i guess. but the callin for taxi part was kinda scary. and mayb it's due to my parents tat i keep thinking everyone was out to get us. or get our money. shopped for 2 whole days, and spend a whopping S$450 jus on shopping, transport and food. but the money reali ran out fast.. the other 3 days were spent sight seeing. hmm. not bad i guess. oh. went to sleazy pattaya and watched 2 shows. one wasnt' too bad but the other was a disgusting waste of money. but well, tourist attractions. mayb i would post the pictures soon. provided i get the pictures from my fren.
signing off
amethyst
4:39 PM
Thursday, July 03, 2008
it's probably too late to worry and regret about this now.. but.. i feel lik i made a damn wrong choice choosing pharmacty. omgoshhh! =(
ok but i think i didn't do wrong choosing nus (even thou i hav to do freakin qet). i didn't do wrong not choosing accountancy. this much i'm sure of. but sighs. so why do i feel tat choosing pharmacy is wrong? i'm REALI worried i'l end up hating it and i dun think i can survive this time. sighs. getting cold feet, is this wat they call it? HOWWWWW. SSTUPIIDD.
jus finished watching 4 (i think) episodes of grey's anatomy. thot i lost my enthusiasim for the series (hunching over the computer screen staring at home on a tiny blur screen on a very hot day reali makes me hate using the computer), but apparently not. the ending of season 3 is so exciting, but the start of season 4 jus sucks. hahas. =P as in it wasn't boring or anything. quite the opposite in fact.. jus tat i dun lik it and it makes me feel lik continue watching. but i can't can't. gotta read abit on stupid driving. i shld erh, stop having so lil' faith in my driving skills (however non-existent it might be).
YUCKS. a tiny cockroach jus flew past me. YEWWWWWWWWWWW.. YUCKS. freak. now i feel tiny lil insects crawling over me... ugghghh..
signing off
amethyst
10:02 PM
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
wonderful wonderful WONDERFUL! i'm living my life as it should be. NO WORK. slackK!!! sleep until i shuang. curl up in one corner to read books (jus so lik my child hood days. ^^). going online to slack around, doing nothing feels WONDERFUL!
ok. had my second prac session yesterday. taking school kinda sucks cause it was a different instructor this time. but i think he's more friendly den my first instructor. but yea, apparently i'm easier to read den a book. -.- he says i lack confidence and am jus too scared of driving. -.- tat's hindering my ability to progress faster. and i think i'm gonna hav to repeat yesterday's session for my nxt session. sighs.
going dentist later. cause my teeth hurts randomly sometimes. =X PLS LET THIS NOT BE ANOTHER ROOT CANAL. i wil dieeeeeeee. X( i noe my teeth's unhealthy but i REALLY tried brushing properly already! =( it can't possibly be another wisdom tooth cause ALL my wisdom teeth are plucked out (thinks horrible extraction process of last year). *scared!*
signing off
amethyst
12:15 PM
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
FAC.
ok today is the first day when i'm officially free, with nth to do. NO MORE KPMG (OMG THIS FEELS WONDERFUL EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT IT). and UNLUCKILY FOR ME, parents have to wonderfully plan to repair the damned aircon today. so now i can't do anything. using the com only when those ppl arent walking ard to collect their equipments (cause where i seat positioned in front of the com is blockin their path). i'm pacing the house lik some irritating piece of crap. OK I SHLD GO LIBRARY. i shld go bath first den see wat time it is... %^&*(
but the thing is.. NO MORE KPMG. NO MORE WORK!!! HOORAY!!!
signing off
amethyst
1:08 PM
say something'
plain.amethyst.palace
plainpalace.sally.yip
aquarian snake
Singapore
Alexandra Hill Pri, Nan Hua Sec, Victoria Junior College, NUS P h a r m12'
Lady`Mage =)
plainpalace@hotmail/gmail.com
let it go'
if you cant hold on, let it go and come back in your heart