Monday, November 24, 2008
below average AGAIN. it's forever lik tat. haii. ='( wat's the use of trying and working so hard for it in tat case?
Thursday, November 20, 2008
my sis jus finished her a lvl. sheesh i hate having exams when none of my siblings are studying. i feel lik slacking and watching my bro play games. =X oh no.
anw. to state the obvious, uni is harder den a lvls. hai. at least when i was taking my a lvls, i noe the school wants us to do well and is doing their best. in school, there were ppl who are on the same lvl as me, and we can al whine/moan/groan tgt. at least i noe i won't die alone (and i didn't).
now? i can die alone and nobody wil care. it's up to myself and i'm very good at encouraging myself. discouraging and scold myself perhaps. not a very interperson not intra person. bleah.
sian. i wish 2 dec wil come quickly, den i can use this laptop to its fullest potential aka watch and slack ard online. and of course take my driving test. get it over and done with. =x and mayb attempt the second time =X
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
hardly surprising there's suddenly so many depressing (yes i noe they are depressing) entries. haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...
i'm so screwed for ppda. before ATTEMPTING (notice i use the word "attemping" and not "doing") the past yr ppda paper, i thot mayb there COULD be a minute possibility i could PASS my ppda EOY. aft looking thru the paper (and looking at the snr's ans for EVERY DAMN QN), i jus KNOW i'm gng to fail. omg. omg omg. i'm so dead, screwed, effed up............ HELP. i'm nt kidding. and it's not lik the damn qns are hard. it's jus i would hav nv thot of the damn ans even if the test is an open book test. and i darent spend too much time on ppda cause there's stil other damn mod tat need my attention.
my brain capacity is damnit small. i'm so stupid.
i'm alone. alone. nobody can help me even if they care. lik anyone cares. hard work doesn't matter now. wat i used to believe in, about hard work leading to success, and that "bitter comes before sweet" is al TRASHED. my FUNDAMENTAL beliefs are all screwed. screwed this. frikking frustrated, in despair.. wonderful way to start the bloody university life.
and it's al my fault.
Monday, November 17, 2008
i hav a theory. now. how should i say this. i reali cannot express myself properly.
anw. life and its filtration (jus lik the urinary system -.-). first, there was the PSLE filtering process. den the o lvls. den the a lvls. now university, filtration happens every four mths. dammit. i happen to pass thru the first three stages. but i'm nt sure if i can get thru uni now. now i shal now how it fills lik to get filtered out.
everything is so hard to understand. and so difficult to memorise. it's lik these particular knowledge sets are coated with oil and keeps slipping out of my braincells. hai. wait. it should get retained in my white brain matter if it's coated in oil and hence lipophillic. ok these knowledge are soluble in water and hence excreted out even without biometabolism. haiiii. i think i'm gonna get depressed aft every paper. and mayb aft ppda paper, it'l be lik vj chem paper al over again. lik tears are gonna welle up in my eyes except of course this time, unlik vj chem PRELI=M, it matters. WHYY did i ever choose this particular damn course.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
i hate this- pussycat dolls
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here
yea i hate this part here right now. stupid exams. i REALI wouldn't mind if uni is jus full of lectures. and mayb projects if they wana grade us so badly. den let al the irritatingly smart ppl go do watever they are good in. comparative advantage, i tel u. sighs. imagine. i hav to go thru this7 more times. can't wait for it to end. wait, i can wait for this to end, cause if it ends, another round wil come. another round of heartache of getting back sucky results.
(my anat results sucks worst den i thot it would. WAAAAAY below average) *depressed*
i stil hav to yet find my gift. apparently i suck at making notes too. WAT AM I GOOD AT T.T
Friday, November 07, 2008
i hate the bloody renal chapt. stupid physio. hai. =( i reali duno how to make the damn notes and i dun understand a lot of things. the tb is lik bloody inadequate and the internet is lik bloody confusing and contradictory. idiot.
i jus successfully wasted one whole day on this renal note making shit. and to make things worst, the damn notes in near nowhere done. i could so use the eff (thinks efferent arteriole -.-) word.
keane - spiralling
When we fall in love
We're just falling
In love with ourselves
We're spiralling
We're tumbling down
We're spiralling
Tied up to the ground
We're spiralling
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
the academy is - about a girl
To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for?
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone wants to be loved
To be loved
What more could you ask for?
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone…
practiced auto car today. quite fun! not so stressful now tat there ain the gear changing... i wan my own car!
Sunday, November 02, 2008
i can't reali b bothered about the phy p h a r m test this coming wed. sianz. the depressing CA1 marks was reali depressing. i reali studied very hard for tat test ok! harder than for the shitty p p d a test, i must admit. decided nt to check out the physio marks on friday cause i dun think i can take a double blow of shitty results on the same day.
supposed to be studying reali hard now. but. i so feel lik slacking. i've been starin at the horrid ppda tut the whole aftn and i'm stil stuck at the first few qns. -.- wat a waste of time. =X
would everyting be better if i had gone to plain old life science? hai.