Wednesday, December 31, 2008
letting go and giving up isn't reali the same thing right?
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
seems lik everyone's talking about their yr 2008. some managed to put them into succint paragraphs while others sum it nicely into a xmas 12 days of christmas song.. how shal i do it? the usual long rambling paragraph i suppose. hahas.
actually, i'm nt too sure if i wana talk about 2008, cause it gets annoying when the entry turns depressing. i jus gravitates towards pessimism. hahas. but i suppose it won't hurt others.
2008 saw my hard work for a lvl come to fruition (straight As! D for gp but GP's nt counted. ><). started collecting job experience for my CV (yea well i spend sooo long in kpmg but surprisingly made rather good frens there oso. =) did experience nasty office politics oso. =X) started reading eng fiction aft 2 long years of jus mugging and practicing on the harmonica. taught tuition (didn't start v well and it didn't end v well, but well..) GOT MY DRIVING LICENCE!!! >< started the first of my four yrs in pharm (future not looking too bright i tel u =X) started to actually like shopping for stuff other den books and cds (aka clothes, bags, shoes. lost this shopping pro-ness but i'm sure i can easily get it back =P). got a new laptop tat's MINE now. =D
ok al those are MATERIAL wealthhealth. hahhas. not so much of my personal growth. but hmm do i hav any? =X*thumbs thru diary* erh lik dun hav leh how. =X shucks mayb later when i try to include my resolution. yes i hav a resolution. =X actually 2 resolutions but both seem pretty daunting. =X
i must also find my motivation to keep me hanging on for the nxt 4 years. sighs.
Monday, December 29, 2008
i got my driving licence card.
*feels lik showin off*
this card costs me 3K ok. OF COURSE i have the right to show off. =D
i don't want to be 20 years old. tat's lik so old and i'm nowhere feeling all grown up and confident in myself. =( sighs.. i stil hav yet to find myself. doesn't it mean tat when u're out of the teens. u've found urself? i'm stil the same pessimistic, no confidence and unhappy person i was so many years ago..
Saturday, December 27, 2008
am back from china, xiamen (also shan tou). finally home sweet home. the holiday this time was slightly different from all the other holidays. i didn't collect the plane tix, i didn't whine about looking for a souvenir, and most importantly, i didn't write in my travel journal. i couldn't find it anw and i dun feel lik starting a new one.
as my bro said, the whole touring thing was lik endless chinese history lessons. we visited several (many) temples. we choked on the fumes there, walked around the whole temple offering insincere prayers to the various gods (yes insincere. my sis even got chided by a random stranger for improper praying rites. -.-). wen to nice scenic places to take photos. we managed to get many whole family pics this time cause' the tour guide was camera-shutter happy (he LOVES taking photos. his skills with our camera was better den ours anw -.-) and volunteered to take pics of us al the time (will upload the pic sometimes if i feel lik it. or mayb my lovely sis wil do the uploading on her blog or facebook and i jus link. hahas. lazy). it was a smal tour grp - jus my family of five and a pair of mother and daughter.
realised once again my chinese sucked and there were so many ci yu i didn't noe for common but not so common things. =X the weather there was deliciously cool and got to cold during the third and fourth days (ok i srsly think my eng is gettin from bad to worst, and my chinese isn't very good either). bro caught a chill when we were visiting our relatives in shan tou. didn't do much shopping. hahas. couldn't find my beloved supernat or grey's anatomy DVD and felt a wee bit jealous sis managed to get so many of her beloved DBSK cds. but got my a couple of bags (tat stink lik al new bags does), a pair of shoe. tat's al. clothes were al winter wear and it would be reali stupid to buy so many long sleeved- shirts/blouses. one note thou, there are definitely more shuai ges in taiwan den in china. ><
o yea, speaking of relatives in shan tou. i think they are damn filthy rich. but we don't reali have any direct blood relations. it's jus tat this grand uncle is the son of my mum's grandfather's other wife (my mum has a VERY interesting and complicated family tree). i suddenly found myself with 2 more uncles and 2 more aunties. each of the uncles have a plot of land. each plot of land has a 9-storeyed building in which they rent out. they don't have to work. jus sit ard al day and collect rent, and tat alone can tide them over and more. china now liu xing seafood, so they treated us to the best of seafood for 2 days in a row. lunch and dinner were al seafood. unfortunately i wasn't a big fan of sea food, and even should the food b the best, i didn't noe how to appreciate it. =X ended up feeling pissed off and miserable cause they kept thrusting disgusting delicacy on my plates (eg goose liver, duck neck, diff kind of fishes, rubbery squid omans YUCK.). i tried to eat ok. but despite feeling hungry before tat, my stomach jus sorta closed up upon seeing the food. =X they gave plenty of "presents' for us. olives ( i thinK "Ka nas" are called olives in eng?) tat probably cause our lugguage to exceed wat is allowed, dried sea weed that could last a whole village for a year, a gigantic pack of tea leaves (apparently i learnt tat ppl in china are HUGE fans of tea. they drink tea lik there's no tmr. tea for guests is drunk out of small tiny cups and the cups needed to b rinsed everytime one gulp is finished) and many more dried stuff tat i duno wat it is. =X
sadly, other den having sucky chinese, my siblings and i couldn't speak teochew. so we jus gave polite smiles everytime grand uncle and auntie talked to us (polite smiles progessively turned to grimaces during mealtimes. =X). our new 2 uncles and 2 aunties could speak chinese but sometimes they couldn't understand us and vice vs. hahas. =X but srsly, i could see how theirs is one huge connected family unlike my nucleated family of only the parents and children. shantou is very much lik a town? it's neither a city nor a village, but somewhere in betwn. the traffic was horrendous as in they jus cut and overtake each other without hesitation or warning.
ok wat a long entry. so boring too. hahas. =X i think there's other more stuf to write. but bleah.. mood is lost hahas. my table is messy and everything is messy that needs to be cleared. sighs.
oso checked my long overdue results. below average (shi tian said b+ is average) and my cap is not tat fantastic (aka sucks but not tat i can't do honours. jus tat my honours is sucky) hai. so sian i dun feel lik brooding over it. wat's the point anw? i wil get all depressed and spoil the rest of my holiday. too late. =X
Monday, December 15, 2008
going on a hol this 18-26. to china, xiamen, chaozhou, shantou tour. hmm.. haven got my flu jab yet. a bit too late now i reckon (seeing tat flu jabs need to be taken 2 weeks prior). was sneezing the whole day and head felt heavy. must b the weather. it kept raining, drizzling. and the weather is jus so cool it got to cold..
slacking is fun, but i haven got my fill of it. reading a book and watching videos make time fly faster den it should. 23 dec is approaching and sighs, i shldnt think about tat. enjoy while the fun last.
sighs feeling angry, pissed and i jus don't noe why. disappointed also and i noe why. rambling again.hai.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
YES YES YES. I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!!!! ><>< i'm now a fully qualified driver!! YAY!!! =D
this has got to be my happiest entry yet. hahahs. YAY!!!!al the hard work, the going-to-bbdc-alone, the scoldings i get from the reali fierce instructors, the hard work in memorising al the blind spots, ALL WORTH IT. =D I PASSED. I ROCK. HAHAHHAhs! >< i feel lik telling the whole wide world about it. =D now i shall leave my legacy for my sis -.-. ok la, wat i mean is i'm gonna write al the blind spots and things-to-take-note for my sis...
anw. let me recount how i got thru the horrible aftn taking the test. was fretting lik no one's biz on the mrt, and i thot i was gonna be late. ok fine i was jus on time.. but anw. during the warm up, i forgot to stop at stop line, which could be immediate failure. did lotsa stupid mistakes too, but better it happened then than during the test.
the following is a detailed account of the test. it's only for my reference. =D yes i noe reading long entries get boring... skip it skip it!
they made us wait for ard half hour. thank goodness i brought along a book. or else i wil spend that half hour freaking myself out. which wil be really bad. managed to be quite calm when i climbed into the car. probably cause my sub-consciousness sensed a kindred soul in the instructor. =X ok la when he called my name that time i thot he sounded quite nice. den it started. my first major mistake was not following his instructns. i proceeded to turn right earlier den i shld. i think by right it shld hav been immediate failure, but he was acutally quite nice to jus let it slip! especially since tat blurness was due to my sleepiness. =X felt quite tired aft al the stressing out and trying to calm myself down. think the stress was jus surpressed cause aft tat my left foot started shiverin and i couldn't control the clutch properly. i had to keep breathing to keep calm lo. i think the tester thot i was hyperventilating. =X kinda screwed up the parallel parking aka wasn't perfect. =X but the rest i got thru it. i think wat helped was the blind spot checking part. i constantly had to stick my head out, around pretending to check the blindspots in this very pro and concerned manner. =X
so overall, i shld've gotten 14 points, but he waived 6 points (?!) and my final demerit points was 8. omg i can't believe it. it's equivalent to passing with flying colours! ><><>< i tiny cute one tat doesn't drink up too much fuel. tat's lavender. or dark purple. =P *dreams dreams dreams*
ok i jus saw. my 6 pts was for not checking for traffic and pedestrains outside. -.- sheesh. T.T i thot i checked wat. -.- ok watever. i was less calm outside. cause abit sian le. hahas. cause i thot i was gng to fail. =X
ok srsly i DESERVED TO PASS. helo i spent lik 3000 on driving, and very close to 40 lessons in total (when the average learner takes ard 30 lessons), but I PASSED!! =D the impt thing.. I PASSED. =D I ROCK!! i wan a car!!! >< I WAN TO DRIVE!!! i dun wana lose my driving skills!!!!! sighs. nvm hopefully they'l be lik learning how to ride a bicycle. =D but srsly i wish my dad would let me drive. hahas however impossible it seems to be. =X
I PASSEDD!!!! =) ok enough of the cheeriness. =D
Sunday, December 07, 2008
ok. =D i LOVE SLACKING., i love hammering away at my laptop, chatting.... blasting the music from my cool speaker.... ><
went bird park today with my family (minus dad) and cousins from the mum side of the family. erh. not too exciting, but not too bad either. ended up with a headache.. hotsun i guess. and unfit me. tat's why im gng swimming tmr. birds are REALI cute. they're my fave animals in general. i jus feel lik squishing some of them when i see their feathers all ruffled up. is it only me? or it's because i'm a snake baby. hehe.. wana EAT them up. >< mayb tat's y i lik to eat chicken to much. -.-
ok random.
shucks man. driving test is coming.. *pukes pukes* i went temple today. i hope it'l help. =X *keeps fingers and toes crossed*
Friday, December 05, 2008
quizzees sometimes arent reali accurate, but i lik to believe they are right for me most of the time.
lik for example, i'm reali one to get jealous easy. i wonder why. is it because of my insecurity? =X
but watever la. the outside construction works stil hammering and banging away lik crazy, but it's ok! i'm nt studying! i'm jus using the laptop, and playing ard with my new speaker (free btw hahas). =) not too bad, this kind of life. i wish school wil nv start. hahas.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
wat's the point of msn since i dun talk to at least half of the contacts? i dun even think i talk to one quarter of them. i bet none of them even rmb who the hel i am.
why isit always lik that after the stupid exams? i'm supposed to be enjoying myself and being happy. mayb it's pms. POST tat is.
mayb watever someone said once is right. she is ALWAYW right so far. this sucks.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
call me childish, but i don't wana grow up. it's difficult being independent and making decisions tat matter myself. it sucks to regret.
i thot with the physio paper, ppda couldn't get any worst. i thot wrong. it was a million times worst den the hardest chem paper of vj (and i doubt my standard is anywhere near the peak back in vj). totally felt lik giving up barely 15 minutes into the test. -.- that was when i stopped panicking (aka having this pressure in m chest and having the compliance of my lungs decreasing -.-) and jus anyhow do the paper. hahhahhahas. wat a joke.i can't believed i studied the hardest, the longest, the earliest for this paper. i should hav spent more time on physio. mayb i could get a few more physio qns correctly. -.- yea lik a few more marks if gonna help. -.-
ok. i should stop brooding about the sad stuff. =X i wil moan and whine when i get back my results. =X
happy is NOW. i'm blasting music (nice pop music with ppl singing and not torturous classical music which is supposed to help me in memrosing stuff) and i'm online, and i'm writing my diary. i LOVE THIS. ><>< i lik staying at home and slack. now if i have a book at hand... life would be wonderful.
ok kjus watched ten bros online, in the orginal cantonese version. SO NICE. ><><
ok there's so much other things to be done now. dun feel lik writing anymore even thou i hav sth to write. =)